Shattered

Dreamz…wat r they? Sometimes they are ur fascinations, sometimes they r ur scary realizations. Could be a pleasant emotion or a formidable nightmare.
Fictious wonderland or a pot pourri of ur daily activities. Ur past experience clubbed wid ur distant thoughts or ur all time appalling thought staring u in face.
As realistic as a Ram Gopal Varma movie or as unbelievable as the Karan Johar’s story line.

So, here I am on my way back home from work, listening to Rubaroo from Rang de Basanti. It’s a pleasant evening and people are speeding home after the days work. I stop at the library to return my books and like any other day I take the usual route to get home. Just 2 blocks away from my house I stop at a red light. And the next moment all I know is that everything around me is grey. Yes what ever I see is grey. The car is filled with smoke and I am already coughing ceaselessly. What just happened!!?? I wonder. I realize that the passenger seat airbag is out! Huh! Mine is out too…but now deflated. Man have I met an accident!!! Gosh! I think I have. Even before this thought occurred, my reflexes change the gear to parking and I try to open the door.
Its not opening, Oh no! The door is jammed.
My coughing is getting more and more intense. Panic is deteriorating the condition as the cough was already bad. Now I can’t even breathe properly. Eyes are watering due to smoke. I need to get outa here. Should I try the back seat door…? And again, even before this thought reaches a logical end, I am already reattempting to open my door. It is jammed but it opens just enough fr me to probably get out. I manage to push myself out …huff! Half choked I get out of the car only to see that I’ve been hit by a Camry. The driver of the Camry is out already, on phone and crying furiously.
Wow, is she guilty or what!!!
The car in the adjacent lane is stopped. The driver comes out to ask me if I’m fine.
I think I am …is all I manage to blurt out ….which clearly shows that I am not fine.
“Are there any injuries?” “Are u hurt??” In this state of shock, I can barely feel the presence of my hands and legs, how on earth will I feel any pain! No pain rite now, just some weird quivering sensation in my leg. But the inability to translate what I am feeling, into words, clubbed with all the coughing, I just end up saying … “I think I am fine…but I am in a state of shock” !!!! Can I get more articulate than this! Tell him something that he doesn’t know girl!
One look at the car and my level of shock is only compounded. It’s a total wreck, I tell myself. I still cannot believe this happened to me…all of it just seems like a dream.

I need to call up my roommate...tell her what just happened. I need her to come here. Wherez my fone?? Oh! I m clueless where my fone is..Last I know it was lying on the passenger seat. And ya again…the door is not opening. Car is still filled with smoke…I don’t think I can venture inside again just to get a fone.
The guy who helped me out of the car is diverting the traffic. Helpin everyone out. I ask his wife for a fone. As soon as she is done with the 911 she hands over the fone to me and I call my roomie. I ask the lady if they saw what happened cauz I m still unable to comprehend how this Camry just came and hit me… I know the Camry was maintaining a safe distance. The Camry’s driver is still crying…but she shouts … “She came and hit me from behind!!!”
What !!???? Excuse me !!

Apparently it’s not the Camry but another Honda behind which came and smashed into the Camry, the Camry in turn hit me and I ran into a truck ahead of me …Oh boy …this is getting more n more unreal!!
In minutes the rescue team arrives at the scene. Checking if there are any major injuries, telling us what needs to be done etc. I can’t believe I m standing in the middle of one of the busiest roads of Dallas, talking to a rescue officer. 2 lanes have been blocked. The traffic has almost come to a standstill.

I look at my car in disappointment. There isn’t anything left. My poor Corolla got completely smashed between a truck ahead and a big Camry behind. My first car is standing right in front of me struggling to keep alive. The ignition is still on though. Police is on their way, so are my friends and colleagues. At this moment I have no where to go. All I can do is to just stand and look at what has happened. Time seems to have stopped. What I feel is indescribable. And still so unreal. All seems like a dream.

The police arrive asking all of us for drivers license, insurance and car papers. That’s when I realize I don’t have my wallet. It’s in somewhere, in the car. I ask the guy who was driving the truck ahead, to enter the car from backseat and grab the car papers, my wallet and insurance papers form inside the car. He obliged. By now I can feel some uneasiness and pain in my legs. We leave the back door of the car open to let the smoke out and allow the car some breathing.

While we are exchanging our license and insurance details, we realize that the Honda girl who came and hit all of us from behind …..dosent have a license !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Can this get more plausible !!????
All that can possibly go wrong in a case has already happened.

My friends arrive and help me while I am busy with the information exchange formalities and police report. I still cannot believe this happened.
More illusory than any of my imagination, more scary than any nightmare, more dreadful than any threat, more fluid than any dream…….

A dream…wat happened I had could have never even dreamt of ….but No this is not a dream.
This happened...it happened in the last days of my 11 month stay in US….adding a new chapter to my experience in this foreign land.

And a Beginning..!!

I had never thought I would blog one day...for not one but many reasons.
For starters I am a person who hasnt even maintained a dairy to pen down personal thoughts. And so I am pretty surprised with myself; surprised to see my thoughts find their way out and yeah ! even more surprised to accept that they will be visible to the whole world out there.

I have always been lucky to have family and friends around me, with whom I could share what I think. Be it my joy or my despair. My confidence or my inner apprehensions; my jubiliant celebrations on a success or reflections to learn from my mistakes. To share a laugh and to moan a cry ; to participate and to guide; to understand and nurture my thoughts ; to discuss, analyze or even remorse. They've been there all throughout.
But today, as life becomes more hectic, schedule tight and days packed, I wonder where those moments have escaped....
"GUess its just me who is getting busier day by day ! " is the thought that I ruminate upon at times.."Am I gettin so involved in my daily chores that I spare no time for myself to cogitate and care."
"Why is it that many a times these days a thought that occurs dosent reach a logical end? " I ask myself.."Why doesnt a new born idea generate a spark any more ? "

Yeah yeah !! I know its me :-) who dosent carry the thought forward.
So herez an attempt to put down what I think, to communicate what i feel, and yes to contend for what I believe :D

Hoping to rekindle the old times, the attitude, the outlook and the vigour...I start to write.

I dont know how far this will continue, will i have the determination to write or will I succumb to laziness ?? Will this energy and spirit prevail or will lack of time become the lame xcuse ?? Ignoring these thoughts for now, I decide to write, for , all the glory comes from daring to begin !!

After much procrastination I decide to enter the blog world... finally embracing the idea of blogging :-) Posts to follow soon